Management

[1:20 PM] Beth: seriously
[1:20 PM] Beth: how the fuck can we explain this
[1:20 PM] Beth: you cant

... I am here to try to explain the film Management, but the truth is, Bee is correct. I can't find even a single thread of sanity within it. I will instead offer a few of the highlights:

When Mike (Zahn) and Sue (Anniston) meet at the beginning, she goes to stay at the motel he works at. He weasels his way in with a bottle of wine he claims is complimentary for all guests, then begins aggressively pestering her about where she works, lives, etc. On the second night, he tries it again with champagne and she asks him, flat out, if this ever works. He says, "... Not really." She asks him what would constitute it 'working': if he wants to have sex, touch her butt, whatever.

Mike says that touching her butt would work, so she says he may, as long as he leaves right after. Sue then bends right over on the nightstand and presents her ass. He sticks his hand on it and they share a long, uncomfortable moment talking about her work. Then she kicks him out.

She goes to leave... then, inexplicably, stops, turns around, and has sex with him in the laundry room. Then she leaves again, wishy washy about whether she'll come back.

Mike begins your standard rom-com stalkerfest: he calls her drunkenly, then buys a one way plane ticket to her city and accosts her at work.

Except it turns really weird.

Their attempts to make Sue all saintly range from over the top to bizarre:

• She's fixated on recycling, actively complaining about her inability to recycle a wine bottle. (Stock)
• Takes pains to point out the energy efficient light bulbs in her home. (Stock, I think.)
  
• She hands out Burger King vouchers to the homeless. This is actually one of the movie's only funny moments: not even the homeless guys want the BK veggie burger. (WTF)
• Her mom 'sells insurance to the deaf.' (WTF)
  

Mike's antics also move from stock rom-com to... just what the heck:

• Writes her bad poetry. (Stock.)
• Shows up outside her window and plays terrible music. (Sadly stock.)
• Gets a wacky Asian sidekick to help him out. (Shame on you, movie. But sadly stock.)
  
• Puts up missing person posters for her when she moves, and he can no longer stalk her effectively. (Creepy weird.)
• Parachutes into her fiance's house. (WTF)
• Becomes a Buddhist monk when she finally rejects him. (WTF)
  

Also, the rival for Sue's affections, Jango (Woody Harrelson, obviously enjoying himself)

• Is an 'ex punk' who is now an organic yogurt magnate (WTF)
  
• When Mike parachutes into their pool, Jango fires a BB assault rifle at Mike. He refuses to stop when Sue gets in the way, even managing to wing her. It was a display of very Woody style madness. (WTF)
  
• Puts on a glove, quite carefully, before headbutting Mike later (ROFL)
  

So... yeah.

In closing, I don't know what to say about this movie, and that means it earns the coveted rating of WTF++.