Tuesday, February 22, 2011


best john quip: Would it have been so hard to give one of them a hero's death?

so inane plot goes:
soliders on mission get intercepted by a baroness who is an old love of the main cornfeed solider. the secert gi joes arrive and make them honorary joes for sucking. they chase after this brief case a bunch through paris, turns out the mad doctor who works for the cobras is the long thought to be dead brother of the baroness. he makes himself commander, and is immediately imprisoned.

sweet jesus on a crutch. listen movie industry, i know you dont care about making "art". i know that all you want to make is money, thats fine. but there has to be better ways to do this.

i have never cared so little for characters in a movie. i have had more feelings for houseplants than the people portrayed in this movie. i cant tell you one of their names, and i just watched two hours of movie with those people. i even hated the main redhead enough, i think at one point i advocated someone smashing her face into the ground. do you know what it takes for me to turn on a redhead? it takes a massive amount. and she was a good guy.

oh and it had a waynes brother in it. the really skinny annoying one. no movie has ever killed one of them in it, and i dont really understand why. they seem like such a good target.

this movie was just plan awful. not fun awful, awful in that you kept watching the timer wondering how the fuck they could drag it out 20 more minutes..

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